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Flavor - Book Text
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Thenixon
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Joined: Jan 19, 2010
Posts: 207

PostPosted: Fri Feb 05, 2010 12:29 am    Post subject: Flavor - Book Text Reply with quote

Post here if you have some good ideas for what a book should say.

//let's not have any "no the lat post was bad" arguments.

I am going to hijack this thread, and make it a sticky in the suggestions forum. Please do not comment on other book suggestions, and limit the content of your posts to contain the book messages. - Tek
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Argus
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Joined: Jan 29, 2010
Posts: 138

PostPosted: Fri Feb 05, 2010 12:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

"You read the book. It is a doorstopper of a fantasy novel, which is nonetheless gripping enough that you can't find the will to stop reading until the end."

"You read the book. It is a collection of Shakspeare's sonnets, with annotations explaining just why each one means it was Marlowe who really wrote them."

"You read the book. It is a derivative vampire romance novel, and a lot of the dialogue is funnier than it is probably meant to be."
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It's all an Illuminati plot.
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Buttercup
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Joined: Jan 19, 2010
Posts: 276
Location: The internet

PostPosted: Fri Feb 05, 2010 3:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You read the book. It is full of advice for how to raise and discipline small children. You vow to never have kids.
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Murder Monkey
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It's a conspiracy. Someone has bribed the RNG.
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LoganRuns
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Joined: Jan 19, 2010
Posts: 855
Location: NZST

PostPosted: Fri Feb 05, 2010 4:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You read the book. Its has a photo from a major motion picture in the cover, but the book has a completely different ending.

You read the book. It is a childrens picture book, so it doesn't take long.

You read the book. Someone has penned notes in the margin questioning the veracity of the books claims.

You read the book. There are several pages missing, leaving the ending ambiguous.

You read the book. You've read it before, but this time you realise it is actually an allegory.
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Retired: Det. David Caruso, Oprah, X1-Alpha, your hands, Ambassador Kosh
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SkullFace
Nexus Clash Veteran
Nexus Clash Veteran


Joined: Jan 19, 2010
Posts: 2390
Location: Mars

PostPosted: Fri Feb 05, 2010 4:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You read the book. It is a 'Dummies' guide to online role-playing games written by an author who apparently has little face-to-face contact with real people.
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Sihoiba
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Joined: Jan 20, 2010
Posts: 2080

PostPosted: Fri Feb 05, 2010 5:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You read the book. It tells the story of an angel and a demon working together to prevent the apocalypse. You find yourself frequently laughing out loud.

You read the book. It is a fantasy novel with a well thought out magic system based upon the consumption of metals. It appears to be the first part of a trilogy.

You read the book. It is a graphic novel about an insane serial killer. Once you adjust to the unrelenting gore you find the humour hilarious.

You read the book. It is the copy of the highway code.

You read the book. It is a heavy fantasy book, the image of the burning tower block of pixies sticks in your mind.
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Ezekiel
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Joined: Jan 20, 2010
Posts: 527

PostPosted: Sat Feb 06, 2010 7:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sihoiba wrote:
You read the book. It tells the story of an angel and a demon working together to prevent the apocalypse. You find yourself frequently laughing out loud.


Hehe, Bad Omens much? Can't figure the rest out though. Razz

My contributions:

"You read a book. It is a novel about a man trapped in a dystopian future, where freedom of thought and individuality are violently repressed. The ending is somewhat depressing."

"You read a book. It is a charming adventure novel featuring rabbits and a desperate bid to survive and prosper against the odds."

"You read a book. It is an allegorical criticism of Stalinism whereby farm animals mount a revolution, only to be betrayed in the end."

"You read a book. It is a short science fiction story about an android's quest to become human."

"You read a book. It is a collection of various far-fetched conspiracy theories revolving around secret government plots. The evidence is dubious at best."

"You read a book. It is a semi-fictional recounting of a famous leader who led her people in a short-lived victory against Roman invaders, before her eventual demise."
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Sihoiba said, "Unfortunately he resisted arrest by lighting himself on fire"
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Syanda
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Joined: Jan 29, 2010
Posts: 469

PostPosted: Sat Feb 06, 2010 8:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I say we bring back the best from nexus war.

"You read the book. A dictionary. You just read a freakin dictionary."
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LoganRuns
Elite Member
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Joined: Jan 19, 2010
Posts: 855
Location: NZST

PostPosted: Sat Feb 06, 2010 8:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You read the book. It is in German, and the cover is burnt beyond recognition.

You read the book. It is a translation of a ancient work on strategy and warmongering.

You read the book. It is a cookbook. A cookbook!!!

You read the book. It is a braille edition of a magazine that is famous for its racy pictures.

You read the book. The book is filled with elaborate diagrams of equipment from a popular science fiction series.
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Joehai
Mortal
Mortal


Joined: Jan 20, 2010
Posts: 39

PostPosted: Sat Feb 06, 2010 9:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You read the book. It's a textbook on human anatomy, with tasteful pictures and detail throughout.

You read the book. It's a translated copy of a man's journey of self-discovery as he ventures through Hell.

You read the book. It's a test prep book, with notes penciled in the margins and in-between the lines. You frown at the idea that people would be so inconsiderate as to write in a library book.

You read the book. It's an introductory guide on how to juggle.

You read the book. It's a modern collection of plays written by a Greek tragedian.

You read the book. It's a diary that had been left behind by its author. You find yourself wishing that you could give the author a hug, after reading about all the troubles they'd been through.
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Ongewitter
Wikinator
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Joined: Jan 19, 2010
Posts: 2638

PostPosted: Sun Feb 07, 2010 1:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You read the book. At least you try to, since it's written in a language you don't understand. You look at the pictures instead.
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OrangeSquashZucchini
Explorer
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Joined: Jan 19, 2010
Posts: 66

PostPosted: Sun Feb 07, 2010 1:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You attempt to read the book, but you are illiterate.
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Rincewind
So much universe and so little time
So much universe and so little time


Joined: Jan 19, 2010
Posts: 1139

PostPosted: Sun Feb 07, 2010 2:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You read the book. Considering it is Eugene Kay's highly explicit autobiography, you wish you hadn't. (LOSE 10 XP, you know you want to..)

You read the book. It is part of a bestseller fantasy series, with more plot lines than a mere mortal could possibly hope to comprehend.

You read the book. It is a highly witty steampunk fantasy, by an author of international acclaim.

You read the book. It is a post-apocalyptic tale, where the remnants of civilisation live on huge metallic mobile metropolises.

You read the book. It is a consumer's guide to website hosting companies. Half the book is devoted to rubbishing one in particular.

You read the book. It is a programmers textbook, explaining the ten types of programmers.

You read the book. It is a pulp fiction about a baby, who had a life of great hardship, only to die and be resurrected once again.
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Skritz
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Joined: Jan 19, 2010
Posts: 351

PostPosted: Sun Feb 07, 2010 8:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Argus wrote:
"You read the book. It is a derivative vampire romance novel, and a lot of the dialogue is funnier than it is probably meant to be."


Hehehehehehehe...
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Chenrezi
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Joined: Feb 21, 2010
Posts: 110
Location: [REDACTED]

PostPosted: Sun Feb 21, 2010 12:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You read the book. It's an old story about a young man and his unrequited love. You find him sympathetic and annoying in equal measures.

You read the book. It's an old medical text on the health benefits of cocaine use. You find yourself raising an eyebrow skeptically.

You read the book. It's a fictional account of a zombie apocalypse.

You read the book. It has the name of a famous author on the cover, but you discover that it's a book of stories he helped write. You are quite annoyed.

You read the book. It's a book of completely outrageous fake trivia. You find it rather amusing.

You read the book. It's the fictional backstory of a cartoon band.

You read the book. It's an old guide to witchcraft and witch-hunting. You laugh at its outdated naivete.
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